Schumacher signs for Chelsea

In a shock move revealed last night by an undercover Swiss journalist, Michael Schumacher is to leave Ferrari with immediate effect in order to join Chelsea football club in time for the new season.

‘I’ve always loved football’ the 7 times champion said in an interview to a sofaf1 reporter this afternoon, ‘I feel I’ve achieved everything I wanted in motorsport, now I’m moving on to something else’.

When pressed about the deal offered to him by Chelsea, the German was shy: ‘It’s not about the money. I own a small country in Southeast Asia. I don’t need money. Corinna was getting worried about the risk of driving, and I wanted a new challenge’.

Rumours had been circling for a while that Schumacher, who broke his legs in an accident at Silverstone in 1999, has been thinking about a career change. No one, however, suspected this. With five races left to go, it effectvely hands the championship to Alonso unless Ralf changes his name and takes up Michael’s seat in the Ferrari.

The news comes not long after Montoya’s decision to move to Nascar, and shortly before the inevitable announcement of Coulthard’s switch to Russian ballet. It seems something is rotten in the state of Forumla 1, and all the drivers are leaving to eat their apples elsewhere.

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